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there are a handful of jump-in-and-out jackie chan scenes, all of which are offered up in short bursts where you get to follow him a bit before he leaves to go to the next little area. but the actual game is different every time — you can’t anticipate how it will turn out, and there’s no way to rewind the three-minute episodes to correct any mistakes that you might make.

because jackie chan always wins these fights, he literally never loses. this makes jackie chan unbeatable and unlimited in his power. the only thing that could beat jackie chan would be if we put the fight in space, where space dragons exist. but.. ah, no, there are no space dragons. so jackie chan is untouchable. and no matter how many times you beat him, he always gets back up, and he always says “good fight!”

i’m not going to lie — this game has everything a video game player could ever ask for: action! brilliant ai! new weapons! new environments! a lot of new environments! i’m still not very good, but it’s made a lot more intuitive than any other game i’ve played. for example, when you get a “great choice, jackie!” from jackie chan, you have to select a name and that name gets attached to your character and stays with you until you quit the game. so, for example, i had a nick fury character. i accidentally promoted him to a colonel, and when i quit the game, i was able to start a brand-new nick fury from the beginning.

just be sure to take the characters that jackie chan gives you seriously — you can only take three of them in a fight, and they’re all important. as you beat up jackie chan, he gives you one of your three. if you lose any, it’s game over.

You may have seen a recent headline about how gamers solved a molecular puzzle that had baffled scientists. The program that did it was another example of the sheer power of this massive untapped resource known as bored video game players. Gamers spend nearly three billion hours a week playing video games, and would spend more if we had more games. That means that no matter how tedious the task, you can throw millions of unpaid man hours at it, at any time… if you can just turn it into a game.
In terms of the average news cycle, the games in question are nothing new. In 1982, crosstown rival Larry Fitzgerald made it to the major leagues. Still, this latest game — called the DDoS and DDoS-ed — set a new standard for computing magic. The headline itself is a little more interesting: This is the most successful DDOS ever. The original news release was even more impressive: this is a billion-dollar DDOS. It took a major-league champs and an army of cheaters to pull this off. In fact, it didn’t take all that much. You see, just about anyone can throw down a good DDOS. What it takes is a good game. If you’ve ever tried to start your car in the winter, you understand. The important thing is that you are out of breath. But if you know how to time things right, you can reset the engine instead of having it explode.
You see, whenever one of those big games goes offline, the company behind it puts it back online. It takes a couple of days of manual labor, but it happens. Usually, people just re-enable the service and re-launch the game.
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